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Post by Kaotix on Nov 1, 2003 14:56:42 GMT -5
*gets hit by air?*
Odd.. I would hve thought that John's brain would have been made of something...
*Throws kinkyness at next poster.*
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Post by chief on Nov 1, 2003 16:29:37 GMT -5
What the hell... *throws head chease at the next poster*
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Post by John Roberts on Nov 1, 2003 17:50:24 GMT -5
John slowly drags the top half of his body with his arms, making his way towards his fallen lower half. Blood and guts leaving a trail behind him as he further pulls himself nearer.
"HUH! You fools. My brain is not in me head. And I am no Aussie, I'm actually a bloody Canadian in disguise. And everyone knows that us Canadians have our brains. . .in our ARSES! MWAHAHAHAHA!"
Suddenly John lower half stands up and starts running furiously towards the first person.
"Kill him! Kill him! KILL THEM ALL!!"
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Airborn
Socially Acceptable
He needs to go to Specsavers
Posts: 156
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Post by Airborn on Nov 1, 2003 20:06:26 GMT -5
*Airborn is just walking out the Psychiatric ward and into the open and freedom*
' Thew, that was hard trying to explain to them guys how crap that film was.' *he said while eating a Mars bar*
*Airborn then sees Johns lower half run at him, but surprisingly he doesn't flinch or even scream but pulls out a shotgun and blows it onto the ground before pumping the shotgun and shooting it again between the legs*
' Ah god bless Resisdent Evil and its teachings.' Throws his half eaten Mars bar*
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wildfire
Socially Acceptable
I'm spastic with a handgun
Posts: 206
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Post by wildfire on Nov 1, 2003 20:14:09 GMT -5
Wildfire is walking along in the cool autum night, suddenly, he hears a change in the air... Wait for it, a little more, NOW!!! He pulls a katana from his trenchcoat and slashes the half a mars bar in two equal halfs, afterwards wiping the blade with a gloved hand. Chocolate? He turns around and nearly trips over the remnants of a peanut butter covered paper airplane. Wildfire picks it up and examines it closely, at the sight of the spit and drool dripping off of it he chucks it into a nearby bush.
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Post by Kaotix on Nov 1, 2003 20:34:31 GMT -5
Well that was certainly unexpected...
Wildfire: Yes, it certainly was.
So do you mind if I throw you?
Wildfire: Say what?
Um.. I'll just show you.
*Grabs Wildfire and tosses him at the next poster.*
You will believe that foxes CAN fly!
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Post by Jim Doe on Nov 1, 2003 21:10:36 GMT -5
*fwump*
Aw, geez, another one?! At least this one's intact-
*BOOM*
Oh . . . good gravy . . . pieces of fox . . . everywhere . . . must talk . . . in short . . . fragments!
*throws the cleaning bill for his jacket*
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Post by Dominic Hyde on Nov 1, 2003 21:40:22 GMT -5
"That's better" Dominic says to himself as he comes out of the shower, having washed away the last of the shit. He was about to settle down to watch his special fan made DVD of the producers cut of HalloweeN 6 (again) when he heard a knock at the door. Going to it he opens it to find a group of me in back business suits. "What can I do for you?" Dominic asks somewhat nervously. "You can sign this" one of the men replies and hands Dominic a sheet of paper. He takes it and looks through it before shouting. "WHAT THE HELL! You expect me to pay $20,000 to cover the cost of dry cleaning some jacket I don't even own!?" "Yes" the men all reply in union, "and if you don't" the biggest one adds, "we are legally inclined to use this here pair of pliers on your nuts while one of us jumps up and down on your face wearing ice skates." Gulping, Dominic signs the damn form so they can take the money out on his VISA. Before he can sink into complete despair though he uses an old meditation technique to force out all of his depression and hurl it away knowing full well that the unlucky person it should come into contact with, would wish to do nothing more than to throw themselves off the nearest tall building.
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Post by chief on Nov 1, 2003 22:20:30 GMT -5
YOu know its really good having the brain in your ass... I mean you get shot in the head and you won't die. But its in a better place than the aussie brain though, I mean.. What the hell? Why would a brain be in your left nut? Thats kinda small is'nt it.. And a aussie nut.... They are so FUCKING small, the tip of a sewing pin is bigger. But that explanes the aussies intelagence. I'm talking to John on msn, and I called him a stupid aussie. And the best come back he could come up with is "Stupid canadian!" Jeeze talk about a bad come back.
Anyways *throws a apple at the next poster*
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Post by Kaotix on Nov 1, 2003 23:10:55 GMT -5
*Gets hit by the apple.*
*THUNK*
Ow.... I thought an apple a day keeps the doctor away... Medic!
*Throws used hyperdermic needles at next poster.*
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Post by Jim Doe on Nov 2, 2003 2:55:30 GMT -5
*looks down at the hypos sticking out of his chest*
Oh, boy . . . gettin' woozy . . .
*throws tranquilizer-induced coma*
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Post by John Roberts on Nov 2, 2003 6:31:17 GMT -5
John feels a piercing strike his neck. A sudden wooziness takes him in it's grasp.
"Oh mannn, I can't feel my toes," he cries as he looks down at what's left of his discarded body. "Wait, I don't have any toes. I think I need a hug."
Out of nowhere, three large men dressed in full, well dressed business suits approach John, a suit case in each of their hands.
"Mr. Roberts? We've had about just enough of your constant ripping off copywrited material. You will cease your quotes from varios movies or we will be forced to take this matter to the courts. Our we making our selves clear?"
John smiles inocently, "Crystal mate."
Using the power of his mind, John forces one of the three lawyers into a deep sleep. In the man's dream, John appeares wearing a glove made of Butter knives.
"Welcome to my world. BITCH!"
John launches himself through the air.
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Post by Dominic Hyde on Nov 2, 2003 12:40:12 GMT -5
Having removed the depression with meditation Dominic was in very good sprits and at that moment he was watching spellbound as Loomis approached his old nemesis, knowing full well what was about to happen, he braised himself for perhaps the greatest ending in the whole series when his viewing pleasure was interrupted as John dressed as Freddy came crashing through the window and took a swipe at his face with his claw. "I'm sorry that just won't do" Dominic said with surprising calm and to John's horror he found himself trapped on the spot. "you see" Dominic continued, "I have as yet to see a single one of the famous 'Nightmare on Elm Street' movies and therefore since this game is dependent on the next player continuing the story we run into a problem. You see not having seen Freddy in action my mind does not possess the necessary information and since at the time of writing I am by all definition omnipotent, the words in which I shape this realty are controlled by no one but me, I can safely say that as far as your concerned you do not exist and being omnipotent in this post what I say and what passes for fact, however temperately for once I end this post the next member will obtain omnipotence, you do no longer, nor have you ever existed. With Dominic's flawless logic spoken John disappeared and Dominic finished watching the movie. "I suppose I'd better throw something now" Dominic sighed and so feeling generous threw a rare, never seen before copy of the SatAM DVD with an alternative ending to 'Sonic Boom' in which Sally discovers, via the message on the computer in the Dark Swamp that not only was she adopted and therefore not a Princess at all, but her real farther was...wait for it...NightCunt!
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Post by Kat on Nov 2, 2003 12:43:24 GMT -5
Kat is sitting at the computer, when all of a sudden she looks over to see John land on Jim, who is on the couch. "Jim, would you please stop getting hit by people...or parts thereof?" she asks, then hurls John out the window.
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Post by John Roberts on Nov 2, 2003 20:07:44 GMT -5
Catching the wallet in his teeth in mid air much like a dog catches a frisby, John runs off on all fours. And just like he did all those months back, he quickly stops to lick his balls and then continues his marathon run. He doesn't stpp again until he crashes into. . .
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