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Post by Jim Doe on Jan 6, 2004 19:23:45 GMT -5
*Jim watches as an old, charred corpse on a completely burnt out wheelchair slowly rolls to a stop just by him.*
Huh . . . hello, what's this? Boy howdy, looks like you must've been burnin' for quite a while. And rolled quite a ways to boot. Ah, well, waste not, want not!
*Jim throws the half-eaten burned up corpse into the air a few minutes later.*
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wildfire
Socially Acceptable
I'm spastic with a handgun
Posts: 206
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Post by wildfire on Jan 6, 2004 20:01:37 GMT -5
John is slowly walking down the street when a charred corpse falls on top of his beleagured body...
"What the hell?" John glanced up to see Jim walking away behind him. "Dude, I know that wasn't you." He picks himself up off of the ground and straightens his trenchcoat. Looking down, he spies the broken off arm of the charred old man and promptly chucks it at the back of Jim's head...
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Post by Jim Doe on Jan 11, 2004 3:13:14 GMT -5
*clonk*
Mommy!
*throws age regression at the next poster*
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Post by Kaotix on Jan 11, 2004 9:44:51 GMT -5
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Mommy, Jim hit me!
*Throws tantrum at next poster.*
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Post by Kat on Jan 11, 2004 13:30:37 GMT -5
Kat is at a job interview, when suddenly she throws herself on the floor, starts wailing, kicking, and screaming, "you never give me what I want, you big meanie!" She picks up the closest thing to her, a stapler, and flings it into the air. She follows this by flinging a roll of scotch tape closely behind it.
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wildfire
Socially Acceptable
I'm spastic with a handgun
Posts: 206
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Post by wildfire on Jan 11, 2004 19:18:13 GMT -5
John continued to walk down the street, after that body had hit him he was quite rightly upset, and he had a fabulous bad mood going. When all of a sudden, a stapler clubbed him in the head from an open office window. He hit the ground and was assailed yet again by a roll of tape. Incredibly pissed now, John brought himself to his feet and grabbed the offending items. He walked into the office building and made his way to the window they had fallen from. He kicked the door down to find Kat pounding the ground with her fists and kicking the air. He pulled back both hands, each with an item, and threw them in the direction of both the employer behind the desk, and Kat's writhing form on the floor.
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Post by Kat on Jan 11, 2004 22:49:06 GMT -5
Kat is still having her tantrum, when all of a sudden the items she had thrown come flying back at her, and she sends them away again when they come so close to her that they get drop-kicked! The start of that wakes her up, and she wonders what started this childish nonsense in the first place. Then she notices the body on the floor, apparently impaled with a stapler; but one thing is missing...where is the tape? It must've gone out the window again. Kat looks back at the red-faced, furious business tycoon behind the desk, turns, and flees as fast as humanly possible!
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wildfire
Socially Acceptable
I'm spastic with a handgun
Posts: 206
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Post by wildfire on Jan 12, 2004 20:22:48 GMT -5
John took only a second or two after Kat went screaming from the doorway to laugh at the look on the busniessman's face before hi dissapeared into the hall and out of the building. The release of both the tape roll and his anger brightened his mood a little and he decided that he would go get a snow cone. He found a street vendor and bought a cherry cone. He bit into it hard and scraped away some of the flavored ice. Almost instantly he was gripped by a brainfreeze and grabbed his temple in agony. After the dull pain subsided, he walked off down the sidewalk, unwittingly kicking a pebble into the street. The pebble was ran over by a car, which sent it flying head first into the vendor. He fell backward, sending his cart full of shaved ice and flavorings careening down the street at full speed...
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Post by Kat on Jan 12, 2004 21:34:41 GMT -5
Kat is still running. Finally, she gets far enough away to stop and turn around to make sure she isn't being followed. But alas, a cart full of yummy smelling sno-cone ingredients is on a rampage straight for her...She dodges it just in time only to run into a baby carriage, sending the ugly little infant screaming through the air.
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wildfire
Socially Acceptable
I'm spastic with a handgun
Posts: 206
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Post by wildfire on Feb 18, 2005 12:00:27 GMT -5
*Ya know, I loved this topic, so I is gonna revive it!!!*
Wildfire is swinging through the air George of the Jungle style when in his open arms falls a baby. "What in the bloody hell? This is one nasty looking baby, and it would appear that flying through the air as it seems is enough to make a child crap his pants. Understandable I suppose." Wildfire expertly diapers the child (having around seven nephews of his own didn't hurt.) all while swinging on jungle vines that had somehow manifested themselves in the city. He deposits the monstorous looking child in a nearby tree, while throwing the loaded diaper and his caution to the wind. You see, Wildfire happened to not be wearing any pants, and the trenchcoat that was covering everything well enough on the ground left all of nature's mysteries bare in the air. Wildfire grabs for another vine, but apparently there are none to be found, and he soon finds himself plummeting back to the hard unforgiving earth below...
*is on a topic reviving spree today out of boredom*
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Post by Kaotix on Mar 1, 2005 10:55:50 GMT -5
*Kaotix notices a shadow getting larger around him. He looks up and setps to the side allowing Wildfire to smash into the ground.
He then scraps Wildfire up and puts him in a pail. He then throws the pail at the next poster.*
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Post by Kat on Mar 30, 2005 1:19:13 GMT -5
Luckily, Kat has a wooden baseball bat in her hands...she hits the pail...the crowd goes wild! Woo-hoo, my boys, woo-hoo!!!
Oh...um, she throws one of the contestants of "Americas Next Top Model" at whosoever posts next.
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wildfire
Socially Acceptable
I'm spastic with a handgun
Posts: 206
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Post by wildfire on Mar 31, 2005 18:28:13 GMT -5
The pail of liquid person that was John hit the wall and then spilled its disgusting contents on the ground. After a moment or two of simply sitting there, the various puddles of John came together ala T-1000 and reformed our trenchcoated hero.
"Don't you just love the magic of message boards?" John then went off walking down the street when suddenly he was accosted by a would bemale model. "I know what to do!!!" he exclaimed in brilliance as he removed a katana from his coat. "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!!!" and with a swipe of his sword, the head of his annoying attacker went flying off into the distance...
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